On Being Three Years Away from 30!
“Oh! please. Don’t bother. I don’t want anything”
It was my response to my colleague on being inquired about what gift I would like to recieve for my birthday. After the chatter, I went back to my desk to finish a story for the magazine. However, within moments I found myself staring at the monitor blankly and unconciously tapping a random key on the keyboard. I wondered, “what do I actually want for my birthday? 10 million dollars, a better job, a knight in the shining armour or may be some super power…!” And the list went on but had to put a break on my thoughts and resume my work.
On my way back to home, the thoughts replayed in my mind. Because that’s the only time when I can forget the world and have some ‘me’ time. The only condition is- I need a window seat in the bus. Luckily I got one. So, the thoughts about my perfect gift kept on toggling in my mind. Being the fairy tale admirer, my mind rested on the Alladin’s lamp. But then again, the genie will ask for 3 wishes. What are the three things I want most right now?
A Room of my Own
Yes, I want a room of my own, both metaphorically and literally. When your parents are govt employees, you are condenmed to spent the ‘brahmacharya’ phase of your life in govt. quarters. And if you, too, happen to earn a govt job yourself, the rest of the three stages will also spent in the mini quarters.
In my case, my family and relatives are trying to kick me out of the brahmacharya boundary and make me enter the grihasta phase. But they need to kick harder. So I am post 25 and still residing with my Mom and brother at govt quarters. The size and quantity of the rooms are often overlooked by the perks that come with it- a big campus with a park, security, location etc.
Hence, my home has 3 small rooms apart from a kitchen and bathroom toilet. Two of them are mostly occupied by my mom and brother. So all I get is the drawing room. Sigh!
Have you felt like crying like anything but you don’t find a single corner at your house where you can shed your tears?
Have you ever felt the desire to admire yourself in the mirror but there’s always someone to intrude in that private moment?
You are in a conversation with your special one and you are reaching almost to that ‘perfect’ moment and then somebody calls you out to do a chore. Have ever you felt that?
If yes, you know what I mean. If no, then let me tell you, it’s painful. It’s a pathetic feeling.
Privacy! A space! Four walls, within which I can laugh, cry, yell and do whatever I want….
A Day without 5W1H
For those who are not aware of what 5W1H is, it’s full form is ‘What, When, Where, Why, Who and How’. Basically these are the pronouns used while questioning. So, I wish for a day without questions! Questions like- Where are you going? When are you coming back? Who are you going with? Why are you going? Why are you not married? Why are you breathing? Phew!
And the questions go on.
Sometimes there are no answers. Sometime you don’t want to answer.
Call me an escapist if you want but yes.. I want to run away from ‘questions’, at least, for a day.
Basically, I want to spent 24hours without questions. I want to do what I want without any questions. Still wondering how that ‘day’ would be….
An encounter with ‘Myself’
As Shakespeare said that this world is a stage and we all are actors. We play our part and leave. What he didn’t tell us was the fact that one single actor would have to play multiple roles.
What do you see when you look at tge mirror? A daughter, a son, a brother, a sister, a spouse, a friend… Do you see ‘yourself’? Sometimes we get so much into the ‘character’ that we forget the ‘individual’ that we all are before playing any role.
I want to meet ‘myself’. I don’t even remember how it looks like. Even the mirror can’t show my ‘reflection’. Well, I do see a faint image behind a daughter and a sister. But, the image is dwindling. Yes, I want to see her. I want to know her, her dreams, her desires, her pain, her emotions.
A jerk woke me up from my ‘Alladin’ moment. Thanks to the speedbreaker! The crowd in the bus gradually decreasing. My destination was near. I found it funny that how in such noise and crowd I was drowned in my thoughts and asking for ‘privacy’.
I wish my wishes are granted before I reach 30…..